A Year in Review: Rough Magic and recovery

2024 was a big year for me. In April, ROUGH MAGIC, my debut memoir-in-essays about living with borderline personality disorder, hit bookstores. The book, an instant national bestseller, was excerpted in The Globe and Mail and Chatelaine. I had the chance to discuss BPD and ROUGH MAGIC on CTV’s The Social and Your Morning, Telus Talks with Tamara Taggart, and At Your Best with Yonah Budd. ROUGH MAGIC made several lists, including 49th Shelf’s Most Anticipated Nonfiction Books and Book Authority’s Best New BPD Books. I gave talks from Burlington to Yale in hopes of destigmatizing one of the most misunderstood mental health disorders.

It was a great year for raising awareness about BPD. But it wasn’t such a great year for my mental health. My recovery journey stalled when my grandmother died in February. Fears of abandonment surfaced with a strength I hadn’t felt since high school. I lost contact with reality frequently, choosing to dissociate instead of engaging with my intense emotions. I struggled with thoughts of self-harm and suicide. I cycled between feeling too much and feeling like an empty vessel.

I share this because there’s an important reminder in my experience: regardless of how well a person with mental illness may seem to be doing on paper, mental health recovery is not linear. Symptoms crop up even during the best of times. A person can write a book about living with BPD and still struggle with the reality of navigating the disorder’s symptoms. Recovery is a lifelong commitment.

As we move into 2025, I will hold space for my victories and setbacks. I will speak openly about my journey to normalize these experiences. I’ll take things one day at a time, knowing that recovery is not a destination, but an ongoing process of growth, compassion, and self-discovery.