Using IFS to write about difficult memories

A meeting of Miranda's Internal Family Systems Committee

Miranda’s Internal Family Systems* Committee
Meeting
4 p.m., October 23, 2022

* Read a primer on IFS

I. Call to Order
The Self, committee chair, called to order the special meeting of Miranda’s Internal Family Systems Committee at 4 p.m. on October 23, 2022.

II. Roll Call
Secretary Desperately Organized conducted a roll call. The following parts were present:

• The Self, chair

• Desperately Organized, secretary and treasurer

• Sloth

• Bubbly Susan

• Imposter Syndrome

• Childhood Fear

III. Approval of Minutes
Before any official business could be conducted, Desperately Organized reminded the committee that the board had to approve minutes from the last emergency meeting regarding Miranda’s self-doubt. The Self tabled a motion to approve and was seconded by Desperately Organized. The motion passed.

IV. Open Issues / Agenda Items

The sole open issue on the committee’s agenda was to help Miranda overcome the blocks she was facing while writing difficult memories for her book project.

The first agenda item was the tension between Desperately Organized and Sloth. Desperately Organized noted that Miranda needed to make more progress and wasn’t working fast enough. Sloth said a book was too much work and Miranda should just chill instead.

• Imposter Syndrome agreed with Sloth and made a motion that Miranda should give up, with the addendum that she wasn’t a very good writer in the first place. The motion was voted down 4-2, with no members abstaining.

• The Self made a motion that Imposter Syndrome and Sloth should be seated on opposite ends of the table at all future meetings. The motion carried 4-2, with no members abstaining.

The Self asked Desperately Organized and Sloth to clarify their goals. Desperately Organized said she wanted to keep Miranda working at a steady pace to prevent a backlog, which could result in a build-up of anxiety and panic that could land her in the hospital. Sloth thought Miranda should slack off for that very reason. The discovery of a common goal eased the strain around the table.

• The Self thanked both parts for their valuable contributions that keep Miranda healthy, and made a motion that Sloth and Desperately Organized spend more time working together toward their common goal, and less time opposing one another. The motion carried 5-1, with no members abstaining.

The Self moved up the next agenda item, dealing with Imposter Syndrome, as they were the noisiest at the table and it was apparent that they were going to continue to derail the work of the committee. Imposter Syndrome said it was only pointing out the obvious to save Miranda a lot of wasted time and energy. The Self, with initial difficulty, said it appreciated Imposter Syndrome’s criticisms as they helped Miranda be a better writer. Imposter Syndrome swore loudly and noted that wasn’t the point.

• The Self, smiling now, made a motion to treat Imposter Syndrome with gratitude and kindness going forward, as it was obvious that they were going to help Miranda create a stronger body of work. Imposter Syndrome shrieked and fainted. The motion carried 5-0, with Imposter Syndrome abstaining.

Bubbly Susan insisted it go on the record, to audible groans around the table, that the committee was just getting in the way with all of their feelings. She noted Miranda has wanted this since she was a little girl and asked the committee why they couldn’t just be excited. Desperately Organized said it was easy to be exuberant all the time when you have no sense of responsibility. The Self acknowledged Bubbly Susan’s frustration, reminded the committee of all the important motivational work she’s done, and assured Bubbly Susan that she will have plenty of opportunities to celebrate in the coming months.

• Desperately Organized made a motion that Bubbly Susan help Sloth rally when he’s feeling unmotivated, with the addendum that she be allowed to oversee Bubbly Susan’s celebrations to prevent embarrassment. Motion carried 5-0, with Imposter Syndrome still abstaining due to unconsciousness.

The Self returned to the agenda to address Childhood Fear’s concerns. Miranda has been writing about difficult early memories, which triggered Childhood Fear. Childhood Fear said honesty has only ever caused problems for Miranda, and isn’t safer to stay small and quiet? Won’t everyone get mad at the committee for speaking up and leave or hurt Miranda? The Self reassured Childhood Fear that her concerns were valid and that staying small was a successful strategy when Miranda was a girl. But, she’s an adult now with a chosen family who loves her and supports her goals.

• The Self made a motion to continue to check in on Childhood Fear as Miranda delves deeper into her writing to ensure the part is comfortable and to see if she needs additional support. Motion carried, 5-0. Imposter Syndrome, though conscious, abstained as they had lost the thread.

V. Adjournment
After all open issues were addressed, the meeting was adjourned at 5 p.m. by The Self. The next committee meeting will be scheduled as needed.